Thursday, February 5, 2009

My Scottish Mum

February is bitter sweet for me, I'm celebrating the birth of my first born child who will be twenty in a few days, February 9th is just around the corner, its been 23 years since my mum passed away. You'd think the separation of a few decades would soften the blow, but you know it feels pretty intense.. still after all these years. There have been so many milestones in my life where I think of my mum and feel sad knowing we didn't get a chance to experience them together, the good and the bad. Life is... I try to not project too many what ifs as I do believe it is crucial to live today, knowing that the time I did have with my Scottish mum built the foundation of my life. Its difficult someday to remember not to be sad, February is always the most challenging. I get through it, we light incense a candle.... pick up some carnations or daffodils and set them by her picture. I look into her eyes and feel such gratitude well up inside me for all that she was able to give me. I thank her for the wisdom, her spontaneity, her loving and nurturing ways that have inspired me to become the mum I want to be.... most of all I thank her for Dad. So you big kids out there who have a mum near by that you can hug and give flowers to, give her some daffodils and let her know what a gift she is.

zee aka Gracie


Lee said...

Big hugs to you..sniff sniff..I miss my grandparents more than ever lately. I will take my parents a little treat and visit them sooner rather than later. Im sure you make your mama proud!!

kathee said...

Dear Gracie, The legacy of your mum is actively alive in you- in your loving, nurturing ways and in your love-of-life. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time, and I will make a point to give my own mum an extra hug today...thanks for the reminder that we need to be thankful every day, for the blessings we have,